UberPatrick
Because walking is for people with more motivation than you.
Because walking is for people with more motivation than you.
Are you tired of driving yourself? Of course you are. It involves looking at the road and making split-second decisions—exhausting stuff. Enter UberPatrick. I offer a premium private transportation experience where the car is clean-ish, the driver is conscious, and the destination is eventually reached.
Unlike those other apps, I won't cancel on you just because I’m five minutes away and decided I’d rather have a burrito. I provide a "silent ride" by default, mostly because your small talk is physically painful, but also because I'm very professional. Book now, before I realize I could be doing literally anything else.
| Service Type | Description | Rate |
|---|---|---|
| The Airport Sprint | One-way drop-off. Includes luggage help (if it's not weirdly heavy). | $75.00 |
| The Executive Wait | I drive you to a meeting, wait in the car, and pretend I'm your bodyguard. | $60.00 / hr |
| Night on the Town | Safe transport for when you've had one too many "networking" drinks. | $120.00 (Flat) |
| The 'I'm Late' Express | Aggressive lane changes and questionable shortcuts. No extra charge. | Custom |